If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
