I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
