just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just want nice things and good sex
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
