Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
