hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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