Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
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