You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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