Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
