So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
