I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize