I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Dear god my vagina.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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