I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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