You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
