I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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