they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
