So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
