and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
