for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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