...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
