No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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