Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
