Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize