Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
