Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
