after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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