Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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