Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
