last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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