Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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