I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
