Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
