Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
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I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
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His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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