Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
