Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
