She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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