We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize