And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
