It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
nutella sex= disaster
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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