I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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