omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
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