Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?