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• (714): View more from California

  i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day

  (619): View more from California

  ahah at least you got away with it

  (714): View more from California

  nope...my gran was the one who informed me

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.

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• (760): View more from California

  Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert

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• (716): View more from New York

  I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal

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• (718): View more from New York

  I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho

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