I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Everyone says I win the strip club
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
