I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low