Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions

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  (813): ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions http://tfl.nu/w3os
  Replies (74) Good night (1395) Bad night (7943)
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  (818): View more from California

  Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"

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  (818): Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny" http://tfl.nu/i2md
  Replies (14) Good night (2854) Bad night (708)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.

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  (515): so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker. http://tfl.nu/m4up
  Replies (9) Good night (3998) Bad night (593)
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  (310): View more from California

  When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth

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  (310): When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth http://tfl.nu/ve5l
  Replies (17) Good night (4595) Bad night (988)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night

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  (713): woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night http://tfl.nu/ddwb
  Replies (30) Good night (4708) Bad night (779)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My cha cha got a haircut

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf

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  (814): My cha cha got a haircut (724): thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf http://tfl.nu/cixh
  Replies (34) Good night (1458) Bad night (9275)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  how could i say no?

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  (513): wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka? (1-513): how could i say no? http://tfl.nu/1o9r
  Replies (28) Good night (6472) Bad night (1733)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.

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  (702): So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers. http://tfl.nu/tlh4
  Replies (11) Good night (707) Bad night (2114)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde

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  (401): Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde http://tfl.nu/uiul
  Replies (6) Good night (1323) Bad night (514)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.

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  (260): The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night. http://tfl.nu/9ser
  Replies (4) Good night (1561) Bad night (536)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?

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  (918): He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS? http://tfl.nu/pnaa
  Replies (6) Good night (1040) Bad night (484)
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  (510): View more from California

  She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.

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  (510): She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again. http://tfl.nu/2r7a
  Replies (2) Good night (644) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.

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  (580): I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots. http://tfl.nu/rb8t
  Replies (1) Good night (850) Bad night (303)
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  (845): View more from New York

  How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother

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  (845): How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother http://tfl.nu/c9gy
  Replies (13) Good night (487) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"

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  (858): Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick" http://tfl.nu/uds1
  Replies (2) Good night (518) Bad night (264)

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