Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks

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  (717): i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks http://tfl.nu/zwks
  Replies (30) Good night (5345) Bad night (738)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.

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  (859): I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver. http://tfl.nu/rtt7
  Replies (2) Good night (854) Bad night (2959)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I got her a Nickelback box set.

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  (317): I got her a Nickelback box set. http://tfl.nu/3u3u
  Replies (80) Good night (1835) Bad night (26350)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.

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  (770): I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon. http://tfl.nu/qalv
  Replies (14) Good night (929) Bad night (4386)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.

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  (+61): I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy. http://tfl.nu/xos0
  Replies (10) Good night (5740) Bad night (861)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level

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  (256): just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level http://tfl.nu/5gsk
  Replies (8) Good night (2986) Bad night (1063)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.

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  (336): I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math. http://tfl.nu/wo9g
  Replies (11) Good night (2586) Bad night (888)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.

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  (859): In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing. http://tfl.nu/n1s5
  Replies (4) Good night (3157) Bad night (665)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.

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  (703): There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse. http://tfl.nu/1du4
  Replies (27) Good night (3517) Bad night (1181)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.

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  (863): I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen. http://tfl.nu/kind
  Replies (8) Good night (2027) Bad night (1011)
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  (428): View more from

  she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.

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  (428): she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report. http://tfl.nu/mjah
  Replies (3) Good night (1977) Bad night (822)
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  (415): View more from California

  So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...

  (1-415): View more from California

  So no fakes?

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  (415): So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail... (1-415): So no fakes? http://tfl.nu/49wz
  Replies (3) Good night (668) Bad night (1537)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.

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  (813): My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester. http://tfl.nu/4ngv
  Replies (1) Good night (1142) Bad night (318)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first

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  (613): I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first http://tfl.nu/99uo
  Replies (1) Good night (589) Bad night (375)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.

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  (515): Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her. http://tfl.nu/0xnp
  Replies (3) Good night (336) Bad night (783)

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