I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.