It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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