Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina