I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
