Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina

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(917): View more from New York City

i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab

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(952): View more from Minnesota

He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.

(320): View more from Minnesota

Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class

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(248): View more from Michigan

btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.

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(815): View more from Illinois

YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.

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