you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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