I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
oh god was she eating orange peels again
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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