Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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