Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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