i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I feel like death gave me a hand job
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
