the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
