tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
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i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
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the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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