a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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