Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize