We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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