She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
stop calling my apartment porn island.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
