Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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