i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
