I think my fart just growled at me.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
my poor anus
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
